Happy Distraction
Happy Distraction
S1: Episode #1 - Distractions start here!
Welcome to Episode #1 of Happy Distraction. The feel-good, guilt-free, good kind of distraction. In today's show, your hosts, Dylan and Kirsty, delve into many topics, from a man who donates his sperm without telling his wife, leading to a sticky situation (sorry). To the release of some questionable new headphones by Dyson. This episode is packed with cringes, stories, trivia and laughs to boot.
In the Show today:
Introduction: (00:24)
Cringe of the week: (04:07)
Hashtag Crashtag: (10:46)
Kirsty Vs. Dylan: (14:50)
Say Whaaaaaat? (31:09)
Happy News: (37:47)
Goodbyes: (40:05)
Hashtag Crashtag:
In #HashtagCrashtag, we scour the internet for the funniest hashtags of all time, and this time it's #DogBands in the spotlight.
Kirsty Vs. Dylan:
And... are you ready for Kirsty Vs. Dylan? The epic weekly trivia battle pitting host v host, and this week we take on a multiple category quiz; who will reign victorious?
Say Whaaaaaat?
Don't miss us sharing cringey stories and other tidbits that will make you say, whaaaat? And get ready for some happy news that'll put a spring in your step, all available in one neatly wrapped episode of fun.
So take a seat, get comfy and get distracted!
Connect with us on our socials:
Website: https://www.happydistraction.co.uk
Blog: https://www.happydistraction.co.uk/blog
Twitter (X): https://twitter.com/distracthappy
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/distracthappy
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/distracthappy/
EPISODE #1 – DISTRACTIONS START HERE
Are you fed up with all the doom and gloom and looking for a good kind of distraction, then get distracted with Dylan and Kirsty by listening to happy distraction, filled with fun. Feel-good guilt-free distractions. Listen to one of our stories, play along with one of our games or laugh along at our expense. If you wish, go on, take a seat and let us put a smile on your face.
Kirsty Hello, I'm Kirsty.
Dylan Hello, I'm Dylan.
Kirsty And welcome to the podcast.
Dylan What's it called, Kirsty?
Kirsty Happy distraction. Yes. I feel like that was the test.
Dylan Why we have never done podcasts before?
Kirsty Absolutely not.
Dylan Nope. So Kirsty people, the people, the people would like to know about the Kirsty
Kirsty The Kirsty? The one and only! What, what, what, what you wanna know?
Dylan who is your daddy and what does he do?
Kirsty Right. Okay.
Dylan No, I don't really want to know about your daddy. He's called Ken, Anyway. What em….?
Kirsty Stop picking on ken. Okay. Yeah, so my name's Kirsty, I am female. And the Northeast of England. Yeah, I work part-time. I also do some streaming on Twitch, a variety stream over on there. And that's pretty much it. Cat mom.
Dylan And you can find Kirsty on Twitch, Twitch, TV forward slash Kirstweestreams. K I R S T W E E streams. Yes.
Kirsty What about you?
Dylan My name is Dylan. I am a male and I work in the technological
Kirsty You do fuck all
Dylan Rude. I work in tech for a leading educational technology company, and I'm also a full-time student studying an undergraduate degree of…
Kirsty Nothing
Dylan Shh, business and human resource management. So stop being mean
Kirsty I mean - pretty much what I said,
Dylan no stop being rude. That's so nasty and a little bit about happy distraction. The podcast. It is a feel-good guilt-free podcast designed to give you those little happy distractions. Would you agree with that Kirsty?
Kirsty Well, I don't know. This is the first episode. I feel like he trying to make us live up to a lot, you know? Can you stop giving me hacky looks please?
Dylan It looks like you've already started the most amazing way. Hi, my name's Kirsty. I am a female, like, wow.
Kirsty I might not be. It's good to, it's good to describe myself. Yeah. You wanted to know a little bit about me and now, you know. Okay.
Dylan So just like the throw out a couple of disclaimers there as well. You may hear some fruity language from time to time. So if that's not your thing or you apologized in advance/
Kirsty It’s all me, sorry,
Dylan It mostly is yes, yes she is a potty Mouth. We also have a cat called Eenie. From time to time, he may, you may hear a Meow.
Kirsty He was licking his arse just 10 minutes ago.
Dylan Sometimes you may hear like a noise as well. That'll just be Eenie doing Eenie things
Kirsty just typical Eenie things you know?
Dylan and in case you didn't know me and Kirsty are engaged in real life. And that's why we
Kirsty Put up with each other
Dylan Yeah, okay
Kirsty You gonna do the swoosh
Dylan swoosh. Oh, you want is to do the Swoosh?
Kirsty Yeah
*Transition*
Dylan So Kirsty, we're kicking off the show with what?
Kirsty the cringe of the week
Dylan Yeah cringe of the week
Kirsty I said it better
Dylan Dot com
Kirsty No, let's not start that.
Dylan So cringe of the week is all about either a situation or a story or an experience that we have witnessed or seen or read about that made us really, really cringe.
Kirsty Yeah.
Dylan So Kirsty What is your cringe of the week?
Kirsty So mine was like a news article, weird news article that I was, that I came across while researching all the topics, podcast related of course. And it was, it was something that stuck out to me and, you know, I just thought what an idiot, you know so to build on that. Basically Typed it up a little bit in my own words, you know, just, just cause
Dylan I don't want to do it again. Plagiarism, plagiarised
Kirsty Absolutely not, not when you work for the top dog in that kind of shizzle, you know, anyway, so Man facing divorce after donating sperm and not telling his wife. I know. So a man claims that his wife has started divorce proceedings because she has found out that he donated sperm years ago without telling him the Hubby states that he did it to help his classmate out. And he has no actual feelings for them. He also doesn't understand why his wife is upset with him. She didn't find out for over a decade. So he's like, well, why is she, why is she even bothered? So basically the story is the guy donated a sample to his old classmate. Years ago well before he settled down with his current wife,
Dylan Errr - why would you do that?
Kirsty You're completely put is off. Yeah. So happened before, before they settled down. And by the time she found out they were more kids involved, according to the post that he made in a popular forum. He now has three kids with his wife that he's been married to for 12 years. So he stays at it all unfolded when he went to visit his parents and they bumped into this family and the son looked the double of him and the daughter of the family also looked very much alike his sister. Apparently the reason he never brought it up actively before is because during the beginning of the relationship kids and fertility was a really big trigger for her. Apparently she was told for whatever reason, potentially she may not be able to ever have kids. So he just thought, you know, let's just not tell. Let's let's just not tell her. So basically his, his excuses, he doesn't feel like he needs to tell her or should have told her because legally they have nothing to do with them. So now she's really struggling with the fact that her kids have siblings that she didn't know about.
Dylan Wow.
Kirsty Yeah
Dylan So that's, that's your, that's your cringe of the week?
Kirsty Pretty much. There's not much more to, after that, just goes on to say that she was really hurt about what happened. And she doesn't know if she can trust him. And I kind of agree with them.
Dylan So Mine, I've got two, well, a series, the selection of, of them. Really, the first one is a bit of a throwback, you know, hush pack, TBD, hash pack. What's a hash pack?
Kirsty have no idea – you are just trying to be cool
Dylan hashtag throwback, Tuesday or Thursday or whatever it is. Do you remember when. The X-Factor I spoke to you about this a couple of weeks ago, but I'm rehashing it Of course, that's what I do. And I should tag hashtag what the X-Factor
Kirsty For God sake can you get your words out Jesus?!
Do you know how the X-Factor used to be like the pinnacle of Saturday night entertainment and, and it was just like the best thing ever. And it was amazing. Some people may not agree, but you know,
Kirsty it was really popular back in the. Early two thousands. Like them kinds of shows like pop idol and pop idol rivals and all that kind of shizzle.
Dylan Yes. Well, like it's obvious that it was cringy on a general level, but looking back now, like it's unbelievably cringy, like the group, the groups who were in the, you know, like a Duo or a trio or a band or whatever, and like,
Kirsty They would constantly fight?
Dylan Yeah, they would get up on the stage. One of the judges would be like, so, Who are you? we, you, and then they'd be like, one of them would be like, I'm Sam, the other will be like I'm Kirsty. And together we are Sam and Kirsty.
Kirsty Oh yes you did mention this the other day
Dylan That is just the most cringy thing ever and the other thing is that some. Ridiculous headlines that I came across from some questionable journalists. So some of the headlines, one of the headlines says breathing oxygen linked to staying alive.
Kirsty Wow. Round of applause
Dylan statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25.
Kirsty Well, I mean, it kind of dropped off at the Twenty, but okay.
Dylan Yeah. You know, China maybe using the sea to hide at the submarines. No way.
Kirsty Is that where submarines go? Wow
Dylan Is it?! Federal agents raid Gun shop, find weapons.
Kirsty No! This is crazy.
Dylan And the last one that Diana was still alive. I was before she died.
Kirsty Well, I would fucking hope so! Jesus Christ!
Dylan move on people,
Kirsty people got paid for that shit as well. Like, wow. Wow.
Dylan It's time for
Kirsty time to say goodbye.
Dylan It's time for this
*Hashtag crashtag transition*
Dylan So the hashtag crash tag is for those who don't know, I know it's a brand new podcast, but you may have caught it in under the podcast that we did. But if you didn't all is good, I will explain – So hashtag crashtag is we scour the interwebs for a funny. Either on Twitter or Facebook, somewhere like that. And we pick one and we get our good friend, Brian to read them out.
Kirsty Who the fuck is Brian?
Dylan Brian's the text to speech guy. Don't diss Brian. All right.
Kirsty Okay. Okay. Could we not give them about a name like Dave?
Dylan No. Cause he is called Brian. You can't give somebody, you can't just . No, no,
Kirsty I'm sure he would appreciate the name change.
Dylan So anyway, Hashtag crashtag this week is hashtag dog bands. So basically you have to replace some element of a band name with something to do with a dog
Kirsty With something to do with it,
Dylan Just as something to do with a dog
Kirsty Just as something to do with the anatomy of a dog
Dylan just a dog, you know, just
Kirsty Do you mean like breeds of dogs.
Dylan No that doesn't have to be a breed of dog. It could be like the dogs fur. It could be like the dogs, eyeball, the dogs tail colour
Kirsty The dogs eyeball? That is very specific
Dylan Anyway, Brian is here to share some of that. Okay. Okay. So the first one is
Muttallica
Dylan Did you get that
Kirsty I can’t hear anything, you know that! You are fucking pissing yourself and I am sat here like what?
Dylan it's Mutallica, Mutallica, Mutallica. Get it?
Kirsty NO I am proper dense, don’t understand
Dylan I mean, you said it.
Kirsty Wow.
Dylan The next one is, will IAMS
Will IAMS
Dylan It’s so shit. It's hilarious. Iams for those who don't know as like a brand of food for doggos.
Kirsty And cats I remember when we got that bag of items for Eenie and he literally stuck his face in it.
Dylan Yeah, I remember that. The next one classic
the furfighters
Dylan the furfighters. Ha hilarious.
Manic street pissers
Dylan the manics street pissers
Kirsty How is that do related?
Dylan Because dog’s piss!
Kirsty So does everything else
Dylan well, so what do you want us to call it? Animal bands, hashtag animals ban a fuck.
Kirsty That would be more accurate.
Dylan And there's this one,
the beagles,
Dylan the beagles, which is standard But my all time favourite
Kirsty accidentally pressed to be funny and started to cry.
Dylan My personal favourite Snoop Scooby doo
Snoop Scooby-Doo
Kirsty For fuck’s sake
Dylan Have you got one yourself?
Kirsty No, I didn't realize we were preparing one
Dylan think off the top of your head.
Kirsty This is not what I'm known for.
Dylan Can you hear that noise guys? *clicking noise*
Kirsty A fucking clock?!
Dylan Yes! shut up?
Kirsty You didn’t think that through very well did you!
Dylan Are you going to give us a guest or not?
Kirsty I don't know about, no, I don't have anything.
Dylan I don't have anything. I'm moving on.
Kirsty The, you know,
Dylan what they can what?
Kirsty Just because you play the noise doesn't mean that you go dead still hear you.
Dylan Well, you should have set it up. So it mutes the microphone.
Kirsty Oh my God. I'm not setting up like a million frickin multi actions
Dylan This is Kirsty. Are you going to explain my Kirsty versus Dylan is first.
Kirsty Oh, I can't hear anything.
Dylan All right. Well, do you know what the thing that's on your screen that has, I know where we're up to.
Kirsty Yes.
Dylan Do you?
Kirsty I completely understand where we're up to. You're the one pissing you’re back off anyway.
Dylan Pissing me back off?!
Kirsty So Kirsty vs Dylan, is essentially when I whoop Dylan, any kind of quiz. Or game. Oh, you know, some fun times, so what we playing today?
Dylan Today?
Kirsty Sorry. Would you like me to go into more explanation? So Kirsty vs Dylan is week by week. We will play some sort of game, usually quiz related and we will get a score. And the score runs through the whole season of the podcast. And who ever wins is the best, better?
Dylan so this week, oh, also before I start
Kirsty Don’t try to butter me up.
Dylan You can track the scores on the website, which is www.happydistraction.co.uk forward slash K V D. Oh, okay. So if you want to running order of the Goals and the goals, what the scores
Kirsty The scores on the doors Dylan!
Dylan Yes. Go on, go on that page.
Kirsty So this week, what we're going to do is just a trivia quiz. We found an online trivia quiz. You got to pick a category if you'd like to pick, pick a category. I'm not sure what it's going to look like, but it says it's 10, multiple choice questions on sort as quickly and as accurately as possible in each themed game. and we will see how well we do so, Dylan, do you wanna go first or you want me to go first?
Dylan So I'll go first. Who's going to go first.
Kirsty You said me, and then you said you so I am confused.
Dylan All right.
Kirsty So you want to pick a category, general knowledge, dictionary, entertainment, history, signs of nature, geography, food, and drink
Dylan Dictionary
Kirsty dictionary.
Kirsty Yes. Ah, which word is the closest and meaning to fertile fruitful, woeful, fateful, bashful
Dylan fruitful
Kirsty Correct.
Kirsty What is the Yiddish word of someone Not of the Jewish faith? Goy, boychick, Gelt, Golem,
Dylan Goy
Kirsty Correct
Dylan Yasss
Kirsty What is Hyperbole? Stadium, exaggeration, fever, a fairground ride?
Dylan Exaggeration
Kirsty Correct What is the Yiddish word for clumsy person? Kosher. Ceztch. Covel Klutz,
Dylan Klutz
Kirsty Correct Which word can mean a luminous radiation? Avery, aroma, audit, aura
Dylan aura.
Kirsty Which piece of bread can almost also mean a list? Cob, bap, roll, a muffin
Dylan roll.
Kirsty Correct. Which word of - Which word for a writing utensil can also be an animal enclosure? Pen, marker, pencil, ring
Dylan pen
Kirsty correct.
Kirsty Which term can mean Refreshments railway carriage and a type of sideboard? Cabinet, Roll top, Diner, Buffet
Dylan which term can mean the refreshments
Kirsty refreshments railway, carriage wrong
Dylan What was it?
Kirsty Buffet. Which is a petulant to fit? myth, Huff, doff, tiff
Dylan Huff
Kirsty correct. Which is the meaning of the world. Oh God…
Dylan Of the world?!
Kirsty Of the word Sin, soliloquy
Dylan soliloquy
Kirsty *Struggles to say it right again* you know, single handed flight, soil testing device, minor speech impediment, solo speech on stage Selayla, soliloquy.
Dylan I think it's solo speech on stage
Kirsty Correct
Kirsty That was nine out of 10, right?
Dylan 9 out of 10 yesssssss
Dylan So Kirsty, pick your category. You can have general knowledge, dictionary, entertainment, history, food, and drink, geography, science, and nature
Kirsty food and drink.
Dylan You would wouldn't you here's a 10 out of 10. The purple ink used to mark meat is made from what the juice of an Iris, the skin of dark grapes, potassium permanganate
Kirsty permanganate
Dylan or beetroot
Kirsty I want to say the one you can’t say
Dylan Potassium permanganate is incorrect. It was actually the skin of dark grapes. What is applesauce usually an accompaniment to, is it beef, fish, pork or Lamb?
Kirsty Pork right?
Dylan Correct, which is the name of a drink made of Guinness and champagne? Black velvet, black Pierre, black Irish, black Russian.
Kirsty Like the one you want that makes sense as black Pierre, right?
Dylan Nope. The black velvet unfortunately. Are you taking count of your scores. Roundtree’s Chocolate crisp is the original name for which famous chocolate is it, Take five, KitKat, Twix or Snickers round
Kirsty Roundtree’s
Dylan Chocolate crisp
Kirsty What the frick is a take five? Kit-Kat
Dylan Yes Kit-Kat is the right answer. What animal does venison come from? A goat, a deer, a boar, an ostrich?
Kirsty A deer.
Dylan Correct. What type of seed is the main ingredient of tahini? Is it a sunflower, jalapeno, burdock, or Sesame?
Kirsty OH, I’m torn between Burdock and Sesame.. Sesame
Dylan that is correct, which is a Dutch cheese. You should get this one. Cause you know, everything there is to know when sale Wensleydale, Gorgonzola, Gouda or mascarpone?
Kirsty I think it’s gouda.
Dylan You'd be right, gouda is correct. And which French wine growing region will you find? The villages of a boozy and dizzy champagne, Murdoch/Medoc, Bordeaux, Burgundy?
Kirsty Burgundy. I dunno champagne?
Dylan Is correct. Well done. Which country is the world's largest producer of almonds turning out seven times the yield of the next country is that the USA, Spain, Italy, or Syria?
Kirsty I mean, just cause it's on the list US.
Dylan Yes, it's correct. Well done. An aging Russian aristocrat’s need for small cooked meat pieces was the origin for which of the following dishes, beef stroganoff, Irish stew, Lancashire hotpot, Cassoulet
Kirsty It’s beef stroganoff
Dylan Beef stroganoff is correct so well done, Kirsty. You scored an eight out of 10. How do you feel?
Kirsty like I could have done better?
Dylan Lagging behind, already. Do you want to do one more round to try and make up for it?
Kirsty Oh, You wanna go for another two? Okay. Well let's let's let's do that. Right. Which category do you want to pick?
Kirsty Dylan, general, knowledge, entertainment, history, geography, science, and nature?
Dylan I would like please entertainment
Kirsty you little shit.
Dylan I'm not good at it.
Kirsty Which - what was John Travolta's character in the film Grease? Vince, Kenickie. Danny, Doody.
Dylan Danny.
Kirsty Correct. He was a Hard-headed, man. He was brutally handsome. Is the opening lyric to which hit song for the Eagles. Take it to the limit, witchy women, life in the fast lane, hotel California.
Dylan I don't, I don't know
Kirsty it's multiple choice.
Dylan Take hard headed, man. He was Brutally handsome. Life in the fast lane
Kirsty Correct
Dylan Yay
Kirsty which Henry James novel was adapted for the film that starred Nicole Kidman and John Malkovich. I – I wow. Eyes wide shut. Dogville, the portrait of a lady, the hours.
Dylan I'm going to go with the portrait of a lady. Yay
Kirsty Correct
Kirsty Who did Kristen Davis play in sex in the city? Carrie Bradshaw, Miranda Hobbes, Charlotte York, Samantha Jones.
Dylan Oh dear
Kirsty That's not your area of expertise.
Dylan Can I go with a Charlotte York? Oh… yeah
Kirsty Correct
Kirsty Which American state home to the city of Baltimore was the setting for the film, the Blair witch product, product, product, project, project? West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Ohio, Ohio.
Dylan I think that Maryland rings a bell
Kirsty Correct. Which of these actors did not star in the television show Cheers? Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Kirstie alley Kelsey Grammer, Rhea Perlman
Dylan never seen, well I have for like the odd episode.
Kirsty I know he's definitely in it from them, but I don't know whose not
Dylan I'm going to go with Rhea Perlman.
Kirsty No, it was Julia wor Julie. How much flesh did Shylock demand and the merchant of Venice? I feel like this is really weird because we just watched suits and they mentioned about Shylock. Do you remember. A Kilo, an ounce, a pound, a handful.
Dylan I am gonna go with an Ounce
Kirsty It's pound of flesh, right? Yeah, that's where the saying comes from and pound of flesh.. I want a pound of flesh. Sage moon Blood is a given name of which famous actors son? Cher, Sylvester Stallone, Hulk Hogan, John Travolta.
Dylan I don't know about, I feel like that's a Cher thing.
Kirsty Nope Sylvester Stallone
Kirsty Who, who in 1993 was labelled by rolling stone magazine as that John Lennon of grunge? Axl rose, Eddie Veda, Damon Albarn or Kurt Cobain.
Dylan What even is grunge.
Kirsty I mean, I could tell you, but look, give it away a little bit. Cause it's the only way I know how to describe it.
Dylan Is it the shit you get out of like…
Kirsty it's a type of music, Dylan. I
Dylan I know that
Kirsty it's like, it was a, it was a movement back in the early nineties.
Dylan I'm going to think it's either going to be Axl rose or Kurt Cobain And so I'm going to say it's Axl rose.
Dylan No. Oh, what was it?
Kirsty Kurt Cobain
Dylan Ohh
Kirsty Which US pop star had a 1994 hit with a cover version of, without you? Madonna, Aretha Franklin, Mariah Carey, or Jennifer Lopez?
Dylan Jennifer Lopez.
Kirsty Oh, Mariah Carey.
Dylan Five out of 10.
Kirsty Oh, you bet. You bet. You wish they didn't do this now. Huh?
Dylan Yeah. It doesn't regret your decision. You could, you could bring this bug.
Kirsty I could.
Dylan So Kirsty, the remaining categories are history, geography, general knowledge of science and nature.
Kirsty I think I'm going to go for general knowledge, take a punt,
Dylan Which of these is not a Nobel peace prize Laureate
Kirsty I think you had it right the first time.
Dylan Martin Luther king Jr. Henry A Kissinger, Willie Brant or Joseph Goebbels
Kir
Dylan Willie Bryant is incorrect. It's actually Joseph Goebbels. the flag of which country features a trophy of weapons, ready to defend freedom and around Palm? Greece, Germany, Scotland, Haiti.
Kirsty It's between Greece and Haiti. I'm going to go to, I don't know if it's got weapons on the grease flag. I'm going to go with Haiti
Dylan That is correct. Well done. Which then links the following people? Rogers, megs, and spice. Is it posh Roy Mimi, ginger?
Kirsty ginger Rogers, ginger mix. Ginger spice. I'm going to go with ginger
Dylan ginger be Right! Congratulations. What does noddy have on top? What does noddy have on top of his hat? A ball, a feather, a pompom, a bell
Kirsty It’s a bell
Dylan correct country what Rica? Puerto, British, Costa, Salvador.
Kirsty Well, the pole Puerto Rico. Oh, it's Costa Rica. Isn't it. Puerto Rico,
Dylan correct. What became the capital of Nigeria in 1991? Oh, God cape town or Lagos or Abuja on Niger.
Kirsty Hmm.. Lagos?
Dylan isn't correct. It's a Abuja. which of these books was not written by author Roald Dahl George's Marvellous medicine, Esio Trot, green eggs and ham, Matilda
Kirsty Green eggs and ham
Dylan green eggs and ham is correct. One point, what is the entertainers Madonna's surname? Ciccone Sicone, tirigione, Antoni,
Kirsty the top one.
Dylan yes, that is correct. The Molossa breed of dog is better known as what? sausage dog Labrador Mastiff, samoyed
Kirsty I'm going to go with the bottom line just because I don't know what it is
Dylan Samoyed is incorrect. It is was mastiff. If it's a great answer apart from being the name of a constellation, what is the big dipper? An excavator, spaceship, social security, or a roller coaster
Kirsty Roller-coaster ride.
Dylan Congratulations. You scored seven points. That means you're a point ahead of me now.
Kirsty Yes, so get wrecked
Dylan You get wrecked. You've got 15. I have 14 after the first round. How do you feel about that? Good.
Kirsty You’re a sucker
Dylan You're lucky. Cause I give you that chance. Remember that? Remember that? Okay. Okay. Okay. And remember that. Remember that
Kirsty Will you pack in?!
*transition*
Kirsty So we aren't moving on to the next segment, which is ‘Say What?!’ so you want to explain that?
Dylan Well, So say that again.
Kirsty Explain that a little bit more, bitch
Dylan So this is the part of the show where we have stumbled across a story and a news article or something like a complaint or a stupid moment. And we talk about it. So Kirsty, what we..
Kirsty I've got, I've got quite a few daft headlines to read out.
Dylan You reading out the read out the same ones.
Kirsty What, no
Dylan I'm sure that's the same link that I had up
Kirsty I don't think so. These are daft headlines. So make a 40 of the worst newspaper headlines to make you face Palm at stupidity. You ready? Yes.
Kirsty Homicide victims, rarely talk to police.
Dylan True
Kirsty We hate math, four in 10, a majority of Americans
Kirsty Marijuana issue sent to a joint committee.
Dylan Wow. Need you're rethink that one.
Kirsty Oh, this is the one that you read before mom kills himself and runs away.
Dylan I mean, I'd love to know what the secret behind that one. Right?
Kirsty Nuclear explosion would be a disaster.
Kirsty Think of a headline 56 point bold headline.
Kirsty World bank poor need more money.
Kirsty Bugs flying around with wings or flying bugs.
Dylan Oh, Dear me
Kirsty I don't even know how I say this one for different, for different of different fishers, different
Kirsty G F H D F D F D F F G F D F G F D
Dylan Don’t people not proofread. Like I thought that had editors for a reason. This is ridiculous.
Kirsty One armed man applauds, the kindness of strangers.
Kirsty Oh, God tiger Woods players with own balls Nike says
Kirsty man, arrested for everything.
Kirsty Bridges, how people cross rivers.
Dylan Fuck it's
Kirsty girls still offering something special, head.
Dylan Wow... Wow.
Kirsty Mississippi is literacy program shows improvement. Mississippi is spelled wrong.
Dylan Standard
Kirsty Okay. I've read quite a lot there. You, so you can go now.
Dylan So mine is something we were talking about earlier on in the car. That you weren't aware of. We thought it was an April fool's joke, but it's God. So Dyson announces wearable air purifier with noise cancelling headphones built in. So this is something that they've had in development for.
Kirsty 2017
Dylan five-year and the result is a Hoover for years. Well, yeah, if you
Kirsty for your face you kind look like a cyber man,
Dylan don't spoil it.
Kirsty Sorry.
Dylan So it's basically like a ginormous set of headphones.
Kirsty Maybe that's their plan
Dylan possibly.
Kirsty Cyber men are real
Dylan It looks like a hoover to be honest
Kirsty It’s the Dyson colours the silver, the space silver and the purple
Dylan And they called the zone headphones.
Kirsty because you're in the zone
Dylan you will be anything but in the fucking zone if you wear these. So and the point, the concept is quite a good idea in terms of air purification. And I can imagine it hitting big in certain countries with poor air quality of but you would look like an absolute asshole.
Kirsty The same people think about that. When, so before the pandemic. A lot of people that were coming over, like students coming over from Asian countries would wear masks and stuff. Cause it was quite normal for them to wear masks all of the time. And then they would wear masks over here. And then we ended up having all wear masks because of fucking COVID. So, you know, it's just, it's gonna the same. Thing's going to happen again. They're going to start wearing these stupid, stupid headphones, and then, you know, we're going to have another pandemic We are all gonna end up wearing them, and were all gonna be cyber men
Dylan Dyson, If you, if you're listening. If you'd like to send us some for testing purposes.
Kirsty Hashtag spon…
Dylan I would appreciate it and I might have a difference of opinion.
Kirsty This is it
Dylan So anyway, I'm going to post this on the social. So you're going to have a look at them if you haven't already seen them. But I think the concept's cool. And like, I feel like there is a need for this in certain parts of the country sorry, in the different in the world yet as to what I'm looking for. Thank you. And, and it just looks ridiculous. Cool idea. It looks ridiculous. They could have at least made it like.
Kirsty Considering how long they've been developing it, you would think that they would streamline it a little bit, but it basically looks, it looks like headphones with a mask attached on it and you just, you look an idiot
Dylan Yes. But what I was getting that as they could at least make it look more trendy instead of just chopping up a handheld Dyson and making it into some headphones, like, you know, I know that they're trying to scream Dyson and they're trying to get their brand colours across
Kirsty the brand colours are one thing. No, but it does look like you've got two cylinders of the vacuum attached to you and your earholes.
Dylan Oh yeah. Like if it didn't say there were headphones. If it didn't have a picture of somebody wearing them
Kirsty on April the first as well.
Dylan I'm not sure.
Kirsty Cause that would be really fucking timing
Dylan no, I think it was just before, maybe the 30th or the first
Kirsty because it was around that time
Dylan and the one to put it on April fools ‘cause they know it's ridiculous themselves.
Kirsty This is it.
Dylan Goodnight God bless.
*transition*
Dylan So we've reached the end part of the show where we read out some happy news to put a spring in your step, leave you with something nice than lovely. So Kirsty, what have you got for us?
Kirsty So the headline is homeless dog that comforted troops overseas. That's being transported to America, to live with one of the soldiers.
Dylan Naww
Kirsty So homeless dog that brought comfort to the us soldiers overseas will now get a chance to live in cosy life in America, with one of those soldiers. The three-year-old mixed breed became family to Sergeant K and his army unit in Kosovo last year. They found them looking for food around the base. And then he started visiting daily wagging His tail - soon became the highlight of his day. And they delivered comfort to the troops that were quite far from home. They bonded over the pooch and now he is called Duke to get him to about a life out of the danger. And the staff at the new York-based charity Paw’s of War promised to help. So duke and the Sergeant could be together once more. But before he could find his forever home disaster stroke, stop showing up to the base. Soldiers searched for him for several days, but had no luck and feared the worst. When they finally found him, they discovered he'd been shot, was bleeding badly and was severely dehydrated. Paws at war emergency vets and saved Duke's life. The non-profit overseas rescue partner, the Alamo foundation provided foster care for duke quality was speeding. The Pup spent six months recovering and eventually rebuild his muscle strength to the point he was able to walk again. ‘we are thrilled to be able to tell you that after months of healing rehabilitation, Duke has made the tremendous recovery and is ready for the next part of his journey. The entire army unit is so excited that chick is coming home. This is the moment we've all prayed for’. Oh, that's a nice little picture of him
Dylan He is a little cutie with his hat on and we need to share that as well. Such a cutie patootie,
Kirsty and even, I think he's having some sort of cake or
Dylan bless him
Kirsty dog-related is having a party
Dylan so, anyway, thank you very much for sticking with us for our brand-new podcast and our first show. If you have any feedback or. Comments, constructive criticism, whatever you'd like. You can get in touch with us by going on to website, happy distraction.co.uk. There's a contact form on there. It would also really help us if you did enjoy to share somebody
Kirsty Like if you did enjoy it like that would really help.
Dylan It would to share it with somebody else who is looking for a distraction. And if you could leave a review. Or a comment, just anything, anything do anything we'll love you. Okay.
Kirsty But also a few would like to just share some positive news or cringe of the week, or even a cash tag crush tag that you think that we should talk about let us know. We are all in this together and we're trying to spread the positivity to multiple people, but you know, what goes around, comes around, get involved.
Dylan so anyway, that's it for me
Kirsty and Eenie cat of course.
Dylan Oh God. Yes. Yes. Bye-bye.
Thank you for listening to happy distraction. We hope we've managed to distract you enough and got you smiling. If you've enjoyed the show, please consider leaving a review in your favourite podcast app or player. You can also reach out to us on our website at www.happydistraction.co.uk Or follow us on Twitter and Instagram @DistractHappy we would love to hear from you. Thanks again, and we'll see you next time.
